Creation Series: Secrets to living a life well lived (Part 1)
People often want a single secret that wasn't revealed to them to blame for not 'making it'. Do you look externally or internally for your secret to living a life well lived?
People often want a single secret that wasn't revealed to them, "see, that's why I couldn't ___. This secret was kept from me." However, that's looking externally for things to happen in your life. In other words, they are not fixing the internal, not healing, or even looking inside for the secret. Perhaps they assume the internal doesn't matter. Well I'm here to assure you that it is the most important aspect.
The wrong side of the bed
Have you ever woken up on the wrong side of the bed and has the rest of your day gone smoothly and perfectly? If you're like most people, everything from that thinking onwards, goes wrong and usually only serves to make you angrier.
So, what's the solution? To stay in bed for the day? For some, this may happen so often that it would lead to unemployment. No, the solution is to fix the thinking. The longer-lasting solution is to fix the belief, and the permanent solution is to fix the perspective.
Fixing the thought
A thought is easy enough to understand, as in "I'm thinking about this negative thing and it's getting me ...*insert negative feeling*". Sometimes the thought stems from a past event as in, "This happened to me and it makes me angry". Now the thought has triggered anger in your body which in turn triggers more angering events around you.
Say you're ordering a coffee and you're being polite but are still angry on the inside so the barista messes up your coffee because, unknown to him/her, they have picked up on that anger. Now, not only are you delayed which triggers more anger, this anger has travelled to the barista who's now angry at themself for messing up a simple order. If no one fixes this feeling in themself, then the anger can keep spreading and multiplying like a virus.
What if the next customer's order also gets messed up or mixed up from this anger infection but that customer has already set their thinking to happy and has some skills to fix this temporary thinking problem not only in themself, but also cure the anger infection? Perhaps the customer says, "Don't worry about it. Hey, I've been coming here for weeks/months now and I know, for a fact, that you're the best barista in town. You're the reason why I come here! To see your happy face and get great coffee." The customer perhaps then cracks a joke which lightens the whole mood and everyone's cleared of the anger infection.
How did the second customer not get infected themself? They had either changed their belief or perspective for such situations. Perhaps the customer used to be the person that infected others with anger (or any other negative emotion) but they decided, no more! I'm going to fix this in me.
Fixing the belief
A belief is just a thought that you've thought many times over so that it's now become an automatic thought. These automatic thoughts can be debugged and reprogrammed to initially think and then believe in a different way.
Let's call our belief-fixing person, Sue. Sue wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, but Sue knows she has tools now. Sue journals and does morning meditations every morning, so with this new angry feeling, she journals about where it might have come from. Perhaps, Sue recalls an event yesterday and resolves the event in her mind as a one-off (and forgives everyone). However, Sue also knows that this probably goes deeper.
Sue journals more, answering these questions:
What event, at an earlier age, kept triggering me in this way?
How did my mind learn this reaction?
Perhaps the reaction or belief was not even her own, but a learnt reaction from her caregivers.
Now, Sue needs to debug the belief so she identifies the automatic thought from her journal entries. She then thinks about the reasons that the thought is not, in fact, true a hundred percent of the time for a hundred percent of the people of the world. She decides that she can change.
Sue decides to reprogram the thinking for these types of situations and brainstorms how she'd like to think in the future. For example, answering the question:
From the calm of her meditation spot, she meditates on this question and thinks of the exact situation from yesterday. She then installs her new thinking which stimulates new words and conversations in her mind. Yesterday's situation has been debugged and reprogrammed, in other words, fixed, along with her current mood for the day.
Fixing beliefs is a semi-permanent solution especially when the debugging and reprogramming is repeated every morning for each negative mood. Fixing the belief can also change the situation for others if the reprogramming can become an automatic reaction. The reason that it's only semi-permanent is because some beliefs seem to be buried so deep and were repeatedly triggered in the past.
After weeks of fixing the same belief, Sue begins to wonder what will permanently fix this triggered belief.
Fixing the perspective filter
Every person on the planet has a perspective filter through which all situations and reality is filtered for meaning and reacted/replied to with thought and or word. If a belief is a thought you keep thinking, a perspective is a belief that has been triggered and reinforced so many times as to be an unconscious reaction to a certain situation or trigger. A perspective is usually buried so deep in our subconscious that it doesn't seem to matter how many times we fix the belief, it keeps getting triggered.
Sue wonders how to fix her perception at the core and tries these questions in her journal the next journaling session:
Who or what taught me to think or react this way?
What was this reaction trying to protect me from?
Did it protect me? Does it serve to protect me now?
What emotions attached to this do I need to let go of?
Who was doing their best they could at the time? Can I forgive myself or them to let go of this?
Sue meditates after journaling to let go of the emotions, support her younger self and forgive herself. She thanks the reactions or thinking for serving her back then and tells it that it is no longer needed. She says the times are different and she has changed.
With this type of meditation repeated for as long as it's needed, Sue's whole perception filter can change. She would let go of stored emotions in her body and may even heal from ailments that have been around for years, such as back pain or allergies. But best of all, Sue will no longer react to the trigger from her subconscious which gives her time and space to think like a neutral observer.
Dialling up the frequency
After you've worked on belief that are no longer serving you and perhaps even been able to shift a perception filter, you can live from a more peaceful neutral place. Neutral can be quite a relief after living with quite a few negative emotions being triggered on the daily. The only problem is, neutral is quite boring. Neutral is not exactly an inspiring or exciting place to stay. How do we dial up the emotion/frequency into love, passion and excitement?
The real questions are:
- What do you love?
- What are you passionate about?
- What would excite you?
Stay tuned for the next post, The secrets to higher vibrations: A guide to raising your energy, mindset and outlook on life.
Belinda Allan is an education advisor who is dedicated to empowering lifelong learners. By exploring the intersection of technology, personal development and learning futures, Belinda uses her expertise in education, IT and AI to guide individuals in creating the course or training program of their dreams. With a focus on how AI can drive productivity and well-being in the ever-changing landscape of education and work, Belinda will help you unlock your full potential.
Unlock your potential for happiness and success with the Learning Lounge newsletter - sign up now to receive tips and insights on how to find more joy in your day, as well as expert advice on leveraging technology and AI to achieve your goals.